Episode Satu

Namanya Rafiq Al Habib El Saud. Dia bukan siapa-siapa sebulan yang lalu. Dia bahkan belum kulihat wajahnya dua minggu yang lalu. Dia masih seorang asing bagiku, dua bulan yang lalu.

Hingga dia datang bertamu dan menyatakan kekagumannya yang besar padaku.
Dan tak ada alasan untuk menolak niat baiknya untuk melamarku.
Selain...
perasaan hampa yang memuakkan sejak Brainwave pergi.

Ternyata,
aku masih tak punya kemampuan untuk merasa bahagia tanpanya.

-Ri

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new beginning

In this minute, I promise.
For all "our" time, we used to spent together,
For all of the money in this world,
that YOU ARE MY EVER BESTFRIEND

I will start tomorrow morning,
Monday, 1 March 2010
with a new beginning of me, without YOU, or thought about YOU
but my BESTFRIEND

I will try my best to open my heart and my mind
for someone else,
who might be better for me,

I'll be waiting
forever and always

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recover

You've already broke my heart,
and I could not find a way to mend it, yet.
with anything possible.

Now tell me, please.
How people could change their heart so easily?
How could you say "I Love You" to me ten months ago,
and then share the same words to someone else,
two months later?

How could you recover your heart so fast?

When I still want you,
when I still miss you, badly?

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--------

BREAK UP!!!!

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Brainwave- Last Episode

You are the butter on my bread,
the breathe of my life..

-From "Julie&Julia"-


Saat hujan, Brainwave akan melepas jaketnya dan menyuruhku memakainya. Meski aku mengatakan, aku tak membutuhkannya, dia tetap akan menyuruhku dua kali, dan itu berarti dia serius dengan kata-katanya.

Maka aku akan memakai jaketnya dan memegang pinggangnya dari boncengan belakang Satria miliknya. Berlindung dari rintik dan deras hujan.

Dia akan menjadi laki-laki yang sangat jagoan di mataku karena aku tahu dia selalu melindungiku dari terpaan hujan.

Meskipun sebenarnya hujan tidak berniat jahat padaku.

Seperti sore itu.


-sunshine-

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Hatred

hate Brainwave.

-what if somebody you really love, turned against you?-

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sick of a love songs

i'm so sick of a love songs!
lately, everytime I heard them, just remind me of him.
and it always make me sick...

i hate him yesterday night.
errggh, his ignorance of me and his silent.
so, i decide to NOT to text him. phone him
for a week.
or for a month.

i wonder when he will be chary.
I was really so much depressed for ALWAYS thinking of HIM.
And I was bothered of my own premonition about his ex.

maybe this is NOW the time to grown up.
DO EVERYTHING logically.
PERIOD.

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my 21st bday

happy bday, sunshine!!

today, i wake up at 8 am. check my corby and find at least 6 inbox. from my bestfriends congratulated me for my birthday.
but you know,
no message from Brainwave.

When I hope, he was the very first person on earth congratulated me and said,
"Happy Bday, Dear..."
But,
It's just a hope.

I don't know what to say,
he said that "Sorry, I don't have pulse..."
and I reply, "It's alright..."

Okay, but
I checked my gmail and find....more than 70 messages for my birthday!!!
Hahahaa,....
THANKS, FRIENDS and my BESTFRIEND!!

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Swift Got 4. Mraz Got 2. In Grammy Awards 2010

CONGRATULATION FOR TAYLOR SWIFT AND JASON MRAZ...

AS THE WINNER OF:

Album Of The Year
Award to the Artist(s) and to the Album Producer(s), Recording Engineer(s)/Mixer(s) & Mastering Engineer(s), if other than the artist.
Winner
Fearless
Taylor Swift
Colbie Caillat, featured artist; Nathan Chapman & Taylor Swift, producers; Chad Carlson, Nathan Chapman & Justin Niebank, engineers/mixers; Hank Williams, mastering engineer
[Big Machine Records]

Best Female Country Vocal Performance
For a solo vocal performance. Singles or Tracks only.
Winner
White Horse
Taylor Swift
Track from: Fearless
[Big Machine Records]

Best Country Song
A Songwriter(s) Award. For Song Eligibility Guidelines see the Song Of The Year award. (Artist names appear in parentheses.) Singles or Tracks only.
Winner
White Horse
Liz Rose & Taylor Swift, songwriters (Taylor Swift)
Track from: Fearless
[Big Machine Records; Publishers: Sony/ATV Tree Publishing, Taylor Swift Music/Sony/ATV/Care Taker Music/ole]


Best Country Album
Vocal or Instrumental.
Winner
Fearless
Taylor Swift
[Big Machine Records]
===============================================================

Best Male Pop Vocal Performance
For a solo vocal performance. Singles or Tracks only.
Winner
Make It Mine
Jason Mraz
Track from: We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things.
[Atlantic]

Best Pop Collaboration With Vocals
For a collaborative performance, with vocals, by artists who do not normally perform together. Singles or Tracks only.
Winner
Lucky
Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat
Track from: We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things.
[Atlantic]

IN 52ND ANNUAL GRAMMY AWARDS 2010

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The Blind Side (2009)

Okay, now I will review about a movie entitled, THE BLIND SIDE.
This movie I watched two days ago and thanks to Tya, the owner of this DVD for lend me hers.

I've got read Dini's text while this movie played...
"Wuihh, aslimi keren tuh film,,,15 menit awal nangiska, nda tw napa, oh big mike what a pity"

I just curious and questioning and keep watching.
And you know, Dini was right. I totally cried. and sobbed.

This movie is totally fully inspirated.

Directed by John Lee Hancock and based by Michael Lewis book,"The Blind Side: Evolution of a Game". The story is about Michael Oher, or Big Mike, an African-American oversized orphan and homeless guy who really good play with balls. He taken and adopted by Touhys, a white rich happy family, and help him find his potential and talent. Michael's (Quinton Aaron) life is really depressed and sad. And suddenly, his life has changed after met with Leigh Anne Touhy (Sandra Bullock), a well organized and strong housewife, his husband, Sean Touhy (Tim McGraw) and the children.
Michael Oher is recruited by major college football program where he is groomed into an athletically and academically successful NFL prospect.

This movie take a little too long. But, it's worthed. I do like it's soundtrack, Chances by Five For Fighting in opening and closing movie. I really recommended this! Especially for you, who really fan of Sandra Bullock. She provides her best acting in here! She won Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama in Golden Globe 2010 by this movie.

have a nice watching!

*sunshine

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new.new.

i change my template of my blog...
i like it.
i hope you do, too.

*sunshine

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Preps New Blog

Well, now I'm in the middle of my friends at Korps. Watching, for second time, Nora Ephron's movie, Julie&Julia. I didn't come to Bloggers today, but I already updated my blogs job by Fery's laptop. So, what I want to tell for now on?
I'm planning about make a new blog. And this gonna be my second personal blog, and I will named it, Dear, Bwave. I don't know I will really make it or not. I'm just already planning it but who knows later?

Last night, after three hours in phoned with Bwave, I fall asleep and wake up at 10 am. Can you imagine it? A girl, who should wake up before sun is rising, but she wake up when sun is high rising. I can't help it, because it was rained all day, from night until dawn until morning.

Well, my Dear, Bwave blog. I will fill it with my thoughts about him. I already wrote soo much letters for him, but I don't know, whether thy're fits and necesarry if I'm publish them on alternative media like blog. But you know..., I love writing! I love writing my thoughts, and everything my thoughts only around him....

So, what's it gonna be?
Let's see later...

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books, music and movies

I begin this day when I wake up at 9 am. Inspired by Julie Powell who write her cooking blog on Nora Ephron's movie, Julie&Julia. Well, suddenly I want updating my blog too. But you know, I will not write about recipes or how to cook poultry or something like that, I just want to write what's in my head now:

Three things will make my life feels really live; Books, music and movies. Without them, I utterly dead. I mean, I need them soo much to runaway from my "real" life. For me, books, music and movies is a good escape from all the things happened in my life. Imagine, six days with work, study and house stuffs, without any compromise, push and force me do what I have to do. And the next day, Sunday will receiving me with wide open arms, like saying, "Baby, this is all your day! Do what you want to do, go reading a book, or listening Jason Mraz, or having a movie or two! Wake up and enjoy your day!"

That was exactly what I really love when weekend comes.

So, I will completely wake up. Take a bath, spending two three hours just for shower and wash my hair. And then I will take my "The Heart is a Lonely Hunter", Carson Mc Culler's book, reading until I fall asleep. When I wake up in the afternoon, I'll turn on the radio, playing my lovely singing, Jason Mraz and sing along with a max volume. And then, after having it, I will really satisfied if I've watched like example, Spike Jonze's "Where The Wild Things Are?"...


*Sunshine

P.S:
"Go get your dream!!!"

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T U B U H

Telah kujadikan jiwaku mengikatmu
dengan simpul mati itu,
Pegang, peganglah
kemudian, rasakan jantungku
Yang berdebur atasmu
Dari setiap ritmik
Dari setiap titik

-Fahd Djibran-

Entahlah, puisi yang saya baca di buku A Cat in My Eyes nya Fahd Djibran membuat saya merasa semakin sepi. Tapi saya suka sekali puisi ini. Entah kapan saya bisa dibuatkan puisi seperti ini oleh Brainwave. Ini puisi favorit kedua saya setelah puisinya Rabindranath Tagore yang saya posting di note di fesbuk tahun lalu.

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2009 to 2010

Sulit rasanya membayangkan sudah dua tahun blog ini saya kelola. Sejak 2008 hingga 2010. Walaupun sudah dua tahun, namun postingannya masih itu-itu saja. Film. Buku. Jurnal harian. Catatan-catatan.
Saya ingin lukisan yang lebih membangkitkan gairah. Saya ingin menulis sebuah puisi. sajak. cerita pendek lagi. seperti kisah cinta Clare and Henry yang tak ada habisnya. Saya ingin lebih menajamkan indra-indra dan menyalurkannya dalam sebuah tulisan. Saya rasanya ingin kembali lagi menulis dan membaca, seperti yang saya lakukan dua tahun silam.

Amerika tepatnya Arizona, Tuscon, menanti saya di bulan Juni tahun ini. Dapatkah kalian percaya, kawan? Perempuan berjilbab seperti saya, perempuan yang tidak pernah keluar dari Makassar seorang diri, Juni nanti akan menginjakkan kakinya di negeri Paman Sam nun jauh disana? Dapatkah kalian percaya kawan? Jujur, saya sendiri masih belum bisa percaya memperoleh keajaiban seperti itu.

Tapi ada kalanya kita mesti mempercayakan diri kita pada nasib. Kita perlu sesekali memasrahkan diri pada yang lebih berkuasa atas kita.

Kalau kuulur lagi perjalanan hidupku dua tahun silam, banyak sekali hal-hal yang terjadi. Yang mengubahku menjadi seperti Ri yang sekarang. Seperti yang pernah Kak Cokke bilang, semua orang berubah. Everybody's changing. Kita tak pernah sadar perubahan terjadi atas kita. Kita kadangkala tidak merasakannya. Orang terdekat kita lah yang merasakannya, yang sadar.

Sejak krisis ekonomi global. Papi sakit. Brainwave hadir. Pergantian kepengurusan Kosmik. Masuk ke Astamedia Group. Pengumuman IELSP Cohort 7 yang membuat mimpiku, impianku kini di depan mata- melihat dunia. Pensiun Papi. Semua hal itu mengubahku. Tentu, tanpa bisa kubendung.

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